Got this from Gizmodo:
Lies I’ve been told by Verizon DSL today
• “Phone lines over 14 feet will, over time, fry your modem.�
• “Your phone lines are like a car. Every once in a while, they need service.�
• “We cannot send a service technician to your house.�
• “I’d be happy to help you today.�
• “It is impossible to speak to my supervisor. My supervisor is Verizon.�
• “This is the ‘North American’ office.�
• “There is not electricity going down your phone line, sir. It’s data. Electricity has nothing to do with it.�
Lies I’ve told Verizon DSL today
• “I am an IEEE-certified electrical engineer.”
• “I would be happy to wait.”
• “I have completed all your tests as you requested, including rewiring my house.”
• “My secondary phase-coupling array shows a positive electricon flow across my end-to-end wiring.”
• “Have a nice day.”
• “I am sorry I used the term ‘totally assed in my face.’”
America’s funniest home video style video collage of cats doing all the funny things cats do…
My friend Nadia sent me this… I got a couple of good laughs from it.. enjoy.
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year’s winners:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate’s disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
And the pick of the literature:
18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
So, I was reading Engadget today and saw this article about how to get unlimited text messages on T-Mobile for cheap.
If you’re a T-Mobile customer and SMS junkie, there’s apparently an easy way to get unlimited SMS service by switching your default sending options from GSM to GPRS. Of course, given that T-Mobile only charges $6.99 a month for 1,000 messages, you have to be really frugal, really into SMS or really addicted to trying out new hacks to do this (for the record, we fall into the third category, so don’t go calling us cheap). We’re assuming this violates the terms of your user agreement, and that T-Mobile is working on a way to thwart it, but for now, here’s your chance to become an SMS spammer.
Stumbled upon this on Engadget….
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http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000303027267/
Not that we really ever frequent them (we prefer to mostly do our own manscaping) but there’s nothing we’d like to see more than a nail salon with a fleet of laptops and these USB powered nail polishers. Seriously. Think about that image for a moment. So yeah, we’ll fess up; basically, we can’t and won’t be happy until every electrical device ever created has been retooled to draw power over USB. And has a flash drive. These are good steps. Positive steps. Thank you, Thanko.
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So, finaly, someone recognized that babies are gadget lovers too…because they taste extra good when you’re under 2yr’s old..
Check out the Mobile Baby Toy post on Engadget
Excerpt here —–
The Mobile Baby Toy turns your cellphone into a temporary diversion for your little monster child. Basically, it locks your phone into a mode in which your little bundle of joy can press keys to trigger sounds and pictures that will delight him or her for three minutes at least, until he or she drools all over your antenna, because we can pretty much guarantee your phone will end up in that baby mouth, as it tastes better than anything that could possibly be displayed on that little screen. Available in English, Finnish, Russian, and German.
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I think we’ve all been a scenario like the following Dilbert depicts…
So, apparently, pretty girls don’t ride the subway…
From Engadget
They’re not sure whether it was an inside job or the work of some hacker who experienced a little rejection while riding the rails, but somebody hacked into the New York subway computer system and switched one of the electronic signs at the W. 4th Street station to read “PRETTY GIRLS DON’T RIDE THE SUBWAY�. Apparently it was up there for a few hours, too, before MTA workers finally just unplugged the damn thing. Could someone please get Jenny Holzer on the phone?
Full New York Daily News Article Here
[I stole this from an MSDN blog post located here]
Dear Staff,
Please be advised that there are NEW rules and regulations implemented to raise the efficiency of our firm.
Transportation:
– It is advised that you come to work driving a car according to your salary.
– If we see you driving a Honda, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise.
– If you drive a 10 year old car or taking public transportation, we assume you must have lots of savings therefore you do not need a raise.
– If you drive a Pickup, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Annual Leave:
Each employee will receive 52 Annual Leave days a year (Wooow!). They are called Sunday.
LUNCH BREAK:
– Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
– Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
– Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
SICK DAYS:
We will no longer accept a doctor Medical Cert as proof of sickness. If you
are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
TOILET USE:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilets.
– There is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the cubicles. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the door will open and a picture will be taken.
– After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offenders” category.
– Subsequent pictures will be sold at public auctions to raise money to pay your salary.
SURGERY:
As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.
INTERNATE USAGE:
All personal internet usage will be recorded and charges will be deducted from your bonus (if any) and if we decide not to give you any, charges will be deducted from your salary. (note: Rs .20 per minute as we have 4MB connection).
Just for the record. 73% of the staff will not be entitled to any salary for the next 3 months as their internet charges have exceeded their 3 months salary.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
This is a cut n paste job from another blog I read, located here:
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The History of FAT, and the patent that wasn’t…
What file system are you on? Most of us use one of two key PC-based file systems, FAT or NTFS. Knowing a fair amount about each, its fairly obvious why NTFS has emerged as the dominant disk management solution of our time (apologies to all the ext2 fans!). Interestingly, however, FAT had its place and still does today. Did you know FAT is the typical format on all USB keychains, CompactFlash cards, and other relatively small solid-state storage devices? Interesting… here’s a look at the side-by-side comparisions and limitations of FAT vs. NTFS.
What about other file systems? Here’s a very interesting paper on the Google file system. Interestingly, there isn’t a comprehensive list on all file systems currently in use today, but the Wikipedia entry on file systems was the closest I could find.
And lastly, since this somehow turned into a link-filled diatribe on file systems, Jakob Nielsen’s piece on the Death of File Systems (related to the HCI-side of things, mind you). Have you read Nielsen’s book, Designing Web Usability? A great book; I remember reading it in a college class on web design I took while in high school – at the time, I was convinced Nielsen was a genius – And I still find his thoughts interesting, no matter how dated the work becomes.
To wrap this whole thing up, what about WinFS? The highly-touted next-gen file system, originally to be included in the Longhorn wave of Windows operating systems, has now been officially “decoupled” from the Longhorn wave and will be released separately. I’ve heard WinFS described as “Google for your hard drive”, among other things. What’s interesting is that since the “decoupling” announcement was made, a series of WinFS links on MSDN have since been broken… There is a great WinFS 101 article by Tom Rizzo which is definitely a must-read for those of you who want to know what’s in store from the Redmond boys.
Notice I didn’t get into the patent filing we lost 
I guess when it comes to patents on technology, I really don’t agree with lawmakers attempting to apply patent laws to a field / concept they can’t begin to truly comprehend. Keep your laws off my hard drive!
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Read the following… I got it from another blog post, although I know it’s from some other source originaly.
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I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg
THE PAOMNNEHAL PWEOR OF THE HMUAN MNID
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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I remember seeing this on a website somewhere, and someone else posting a reply that proved it was very word dependant. If anyone can find that rebuttle, please let me know / post it in the comments.
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So, in reading one of the Microsoft Employee’s (Cyrus) blogs, I saw this post…so I’m shamelessly stealing it and posting it, cause it’s the funniest thing I’ve seen all day.
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I have figured out the best way to get my olympics fill for the day. I go to the gym with some friends and we turn on a different channel on each TV each of which is showing some olympic sport. NBC, MSNBC, Bravo and even CBC (god bless you kooky canadians). You can then watch Track and Field, Judo, Swimming, Rowing and Volleyball simultaneously. Do that for two hours and you’ve watched eight hours of the sports and that’s enough to totally saturate you.
Best quote of the night so far:
(We’re watching one of the many swim matches. It’s just been an incredibly close round with 3 competitors separated by like 3/100s of a second)
Me: “You know what? It’s suprising we haven’t seen any ties so far in the olympics.”
Moon (my roommate): “Yeah, you’re right, and you don’t see any vietnamese either.”
Me: (brain halts for a few second trying to understand what I’ve heard. Five seconds later, just stare at her. Finally she gets it)
Us: (much laughter ensues)
So, this showed up in my email box..can’t belive I didn’t catch it on slashdot when it first appeared, but here’s stolen blog entry
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I just discovered this web page (via /.).
The wizards at Microsoft research have figured out how to turn real life movies into animated movies. It takes tweaking to make it work, but…
Check out the WMV file too. Wow.
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So, in my inbox every day, I get rss feeds from several blogs, mostly from MSDN peeps. Here was a post from a guy named Cyrus..
Original url can be found here: http://blogs.msdn.com/cyrusn/archive/2004/07/28/199472.aspx
–begin quote–
The mic rula, the old-schoola; you wanna trip? i’ll bring it to ya.
Due to my amazing detective skills (*cough* and the fine folks who do the closed captioning at turner) I now know the words to the Aqua Team Hunger Force opening. What’s even more amazing is that I now know the words sopen during the credits are “dancing is forbidden“. That’s something I would have never guessed. The opening, (in all it’s glory for all those who have wanted to know) is:
My name is shake zula, the mic rula, the old-schoola; you wanna trip? I’ll bring it to ya.
Frylock and I’m on top; rock you like a cop. Meatwad you’re up next with your knock-knock
Meatwad make the money see. Meatwad get the honeys G. Driving in my car, living like a star, ice on my fingers and toes and i’m a Taurus.
Cause we are the Aqua Teens, make the homeys say ho and the girleys want to scream.
“I’m a Taurus“!!! I’ve been trying to figure out that line for years!
–end quote–