I got this in the mail..and it made me grin, so here it is…

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me
your damn chain letters over the past year. Thank you for making me feel
safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Because of your concern…

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains, and melt nails.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the rat
feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked
with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day. I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al
Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our
American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a stupid
number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat pre-packaged foods because the estrogens they contain will
turn me gay.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and
leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free
replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their
recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me and St Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward
an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. (Jeez,
the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about
to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the
$15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor. If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 1200
people in the next 60 seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your
head at 5:00 pm this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will
infest your armpits.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of a friend
of a friend’s neighbor’s cousin’s mother’s sister’s daughter’s husband’s
ex-wife’s current boyfriend, or was it a friend of a friend of a friend’s
neighbor’s cousin’s mother’s sister’s
daughter’s husband’s ex-wife’s ex-boyfriend? Oh well it was one of them!

So, I was over at Kittie and Rae’s place last night, watching some tv, hanging out, and visiting Noah, who turns 5 next week..(amazing how fast they grow, isn’t it?). So, I was watching tv and playing with Noah at the same time; he was running around in circle around the living room and I would stick my leg out and he would run into it, pretending to fall/flip over my leg. We were having a jolly ol’ time, laughing because he would occationaly have a fart squeezed out of him by running smack into my leg. Which of course, is amazingly funny to a 4yr old. (You never really outgrow potty humor..the rest of us thought it was pretty funny too) Anyways, on his last time around, he ran into my leg, flipped over, and farted at the same time, a really wet, funny sounding one. But when he got up, he instantly grabbed his crotch, pulled his his clothes away from his crotch, and laughed while he exlaims, “Ooops..When I was falling, I peed my pants!”. Well, I guess you had to be there, but it was one of the most comical moments I’ve had in a while. His expression was priceless. He then proceeded to go to the bathroom, remove his underware, and moon the entire room.

So, I put up a link to West Side Krew under the friends section in the nav panel to the right. It’s Wally’s site for the old (mostly) high school crew. Lots of good pictures up there, including some of those famus party pictures we’re all oh so embarrassed about so go check it out!

So, I’ve read on a few different sites that the Pepsi/iTunes promo is starting up again. This means a lot more to me this time around since I actualy have an iPod and use iTunes now. All my pepsi drinking friends out there who don’t use iTunes, start saving your caps for me. It’s also reported that the tilt trick with continue to work. (You tilt the pepsi bottle upside down and you can sneak a peak under the cap..the codes are long enough that if you see gibberish at all, you’ve got a bottle that contains iTunes codes)

Absolutely fantastic movie. The Terminal, while not coming out this year, is by far the best movie I’ve seen this year. Being Janurary 22nd, that probably doesn’t say much, however, trust me on this, it’s a must see movie. Unless you hate Tom Hanks in which case you probably wouldn’t like it. I could not find any glaring plot holes, and the charecters were sufficently developed. The whole movie had an excellent flow and it didn’t at all feel rushed. One of the best “Feel Good” movies I’ve ever seen, and Tom Hanks is at his best in this role. Rotten Tomatoes had some choice reviews, here’s one from the seattle times.

“The Terminal is quintessential Spielberg: perfectly cast, technically breathtaking, sentimental to the point of being one sugar cube away from gooey and extremely pleasurable to watch.”

Here’s the synopsis:

“The Terminal” tells the story of Viktor Navorski (Tom Hanks), a visitor to New York from Eastern Europe, whose homeland erupts in a fiery coup while he is in the air en route to America. Stranded at Kennedy Airport with a passport from nowhere, he is unauthorized to actually enter the United States and must improvise his days and nights in the terminal’s international transit lounge until the war at home is over.

As the weeks and months stretch on, Viktor finds the compressed universe of the terminal to be a richly complex world of absurdity, generosity, ambition, amusement, status, serendipity and even romance with a beautiful flight attendant named Amelia (Catherine Zeta-Jones). But Viktor has long worn out his welcome with airport official Frank Dixon, who considers him a bureaucratic glitch, a problem he cannot control but wants desperately to erase.

So..I was talking to my friend J this morning, and he mentioned his wife. It made me kind of sad, actualy. My friends are dropping off like flies..

Kittie: Engaged
Rae: Engaged
Tom & Candi: Engaged
Casey & Tiff: Engaged
Summer & Shawn: Engaged
J: Married
Trevor and Kelly: Married

I personaly can’t stand the daytime tv show “The View“, but I know a few of you who read this blog do watch it, so I thought I’d throw out this tidbit.

Durring the Week of Feb 7th, the five main stars of Desperate Housewives [ Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Nicollette Sheridan, Felicity Huffman, and Marcia Cross ] will be hosting the show. I may have to tivo (well, I use mythtv, but tivo is common enough to use as a verb now) these and watch them, cause I love Desperate Housewives…and besides that, Eva, Teri, and Marcia are incredibly hot

Went out last night w/ Evan. Wandering past Mt. Tabor we noticed a sign up for “Honkey Tonk Tuesday” so we stuck out heads in (Why not? It was free). It was about what you expect, which after a few beers, is pretty amusing. Mostly all country music, but styled after the Violent Femmes type country / humor. Country Death Song comes to mind

Stumbled upon this on Engadget….

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http://www.engadget.com/entry/1234000303027267/

Not that we really ever frequent them (we prefer to mostly do our own manscaping) but there’s nothing we’d like to see more than a nail salon with a fleet of laptops and these USB powered nail polishers. Seriously. Think about that image for a moment. So yeah, we’ll fess up; basically, we can’t and won’t be happy until every electrical device ever created has been retooled to draw power over USB. And has a flash drive. These are good steps. Positive steps. Thank you, Thanko.

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So, Sheri got me sick. Not like, oh I don’t feel well, but fever up to 103 degree’s, puking up chicken noodle soup, delerious, and cold sweating for nearly 4 days sick. Thanks.

Anyways, after I had a fever for about 4 days, I decided to go to the doctors. He did nothing for me. Told me it was the virus going around, take lots of fluids, etc etc. He did give me a note, so +10 points to him for that. On my way out, he grabbed me and said, ‘By the way, it’s time for your tetnaus booster.’ ……… . o O (Bastard) was all I could think. So, on top of being horribly sick, my arm hurts too.

So, that basicaly covers my entire week.

So, I had originaly planned to stay home last night but changed my mind around 10:30ish, and I’m glad I did. Sheri picked me up with 2 of her friends from work and we went downtown to meet up with Danny and Ben at Ringlers. Once we got to ringlers though, Danny was MIA and not answering his phone and Ben was at his g/f’s house pre-funking. He said he still had to go to McFaddens to do some system work but he would meet up with us later. One of Sheri’s friends was somewhat new to the d/t Portland bar scene, so I got to play Bar Guide, which was fun. We walked down to Hung Far Low, then went to the Shanghi Tunnels and then met up with Ben at Ringlers. Shanghi Tunnels — good pot stickers, mediocre noodles, and they couldn’t get the order right , which was dissapointing. All in all, it was fun. Now if I can just get my head to stop hurting.

As a lot of you may know, LiveJournal.com is being sold. As I was reading the announcement, I noticed who the creator of livejournal is. An old school buddie who I had lost contact with in high school. We went to the same elementry and middle schools, but different high schools. I used to go over to his house and watch cinemax. He also wrote a game based on the same concept as street fighter, except he used geeks from our school. Ted’s special move was making a paper airplane that poked your eye out. Heh..good times they were. Hey Brad, if you ever stumble across this, congrats!

So, back when I was dating Kittie, we lived with her son Noah (awsome kid, he’s so funny) and reading Alex’s LJ page reminded me of this time Noah woke up Kittie and me crying, we went to check out what was wrong. He had this Buzz Lightyear stuffed doll thing that he loved to death..so much that he had loved a hole right into it’s head. Well, he started picking at it…pulling the stuffing out —and stuffing it up his own nose. Anyways, he was crying cause he had shoved so much stuffing up there, so far that he could no longer get it out..or breath through his nose. We had to get tweasers to pull it out cause we couldn’t reach it either. Took us about 30 minutes to pick it all out.

So, Serafina called to tell me she just wants to be friends, but at least she called to tell me in person. Props to her for having some balls Que sera sera. Next!

I’ve gotten horribly lax on posting updates, sorry y’all.

About the Banana Republic:
···NEVER go to the straight women at Banana Republic unless you personally know them, they are all (in my experience so far) bitches who don’t actualy want to help you. Make a beeline for the nearest gay sales associate. In 3 different Banana Republic locations (Downtown Portland, Streets of Tanasbourne, and Boise Idaho) I have had a horrible experience getting what I wanted, from the women working there. The worst offenders have been at the Streets of Tanasbourne and Boise, Idaho locations. At Streets of Tanasbourne, the female sales associate straight up lied to me about not having any more of the (1) shirt they had on display in the sale area. Upon requesting the same shirt in a different size from one of their gay sales associates, I was informed that they have TONS in back, in any size. Bitch just didn’t want to help me. She wasn’t doing anything else either. I can somewhat understand being busy, but she was just standing around. The Boise location, which I had ordered a wool top coat from (Due to all the portland/washington stores being out of stock) lied to me too. I called asking for a tracking number, she said she would look it up and give me a call back. Yup, never heard from her again. Once I received the jacket, I found that they had shipped the wrong size. When I called again, I got a gay sales associate. He found the right size, double checked the product code, and shipped it out the same day I called, plus he waived the shipping. All in all, it comes down to this. Banana Republic makes some great clothes, and they can have decent prices if you catch a good sale, but don’t bother talking to the women there, you may as well shop online and do it yourself.

About the woman I met:
···Her name is Serafina. I don’t know if anything will or won’t happen beyond whats already transpired (which I’m not going to say here :> ) but she did come over again after the first meeting, and has agreed to go snowboarding with me. I hope she doesn’t bail out cause she’s awsome. She’s about 5′03, @ 100lb, dark hair, intelligent (Yes, there is a distinct difference between being smart and being educated), educated (working on her Masters) and incredibly hot. I sometimes get retarded-male syndrome around her nuff-said

About the guy sleeping in the laundry room:
For any of you wondering who the hell was sleeping in my laundry room, it was Big John, one of the bouncers who works at The Crystal Ball Room and CC Slaughters.

About Christmas Presents
I got a 40GB iPod that I absolutely love. It has changed how I listen to music, and it has definately changed where I listen to music (ie: everywhere now). Danny also chipped in $80 towards the Banana Republic wool jacket I want

About my car
Well, still chasing down those gremlins. I has been working great, but recently starting stalling again. We think it’s the fuel pump relay, which is thankfully just a $10 part, that I can actually replace in about 30 seconds once I recieve it. Hopefully that will finally get rid of these stalling/not starting issues.